OUTHOUSE EXPRESS FROM DELL

OUTHOUSE EXPRESS

Please, take a letter Miss Jones, to Mr. Bill Gates,
Regarding: ME’s forty Critical Updates.
And please send a copy to my friend, Michael Dell,
The guy who stuck me with that Computer from Hell.
Tell him it just froze up again the other night,
Installing a Critical Update that just wasn’t right.
Just to have a Program that works, such foolish dreams,
Instead, it’s a patchwork quilt coming apart at the seams.

I’ve no degree as a Computer Engineer,
I’m a simple guy, one who enjoys a cold beer,
Who likes to send emails to a nephew or friend,
And surfing the Internet’s marvels without end,
For such simple joys, shouldn’t a computer be
Easy to use and virtually trouble free?
But then, I get this damn Dimension from Dell,
That I’ve finally named, the Computer from Hell.

I’ve been thinking of calling one segment…Outhouse Express,
Because when it locks up, it’s such a stinking mess,
My car gives me less trouble and it’s twelve years old,
While in three years Windows ME is ready to fold
It’s no longer supported by Gate’s company?
‘Cause they’ve too many problems with Windows ME?
Twelve hundred I paid for that Dimension from Dell,
But then what I got was a Computer from Hell!

posted by Howarde @ 11:42 PM 0 comments
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ODE TO MICHAEL DELL VI

When up comes that message, LEXPLORE WILL NOW CLOSE.
Don't sit there, speechless, just picking your nose.
Get it out of your system, swear a bit,
Because you know Dell doesn't give a s***!
There's only one remedy left to you,
Just do what I'm a'telling you to do.
Yes, it's time that we gathered to rebel.
Sit down and write letters to Michael Dell!
It’s not the computer, it’s what’s inside,
You'd think that Dell execs would have some pride,
'Cause their computer's unstable as can be...
A lame-brained decision: "Install ME!"
No matter the patches, it’ll never be right,
So join in with us, let’s stand up and fight.
Fair warning to you, my friend, Michael Dell,
We’re ready, we’re going to ring your bell!