LIFE SENTENCE FOR MICHAEL DELL

ODE TO MICHAEL DELL II


I'll do a new poem each week for ol' Michael Dell,
The CEO who brags that he knows how to sell,
List' Michael, it's an easy decision to make,
Just tell your guys to quickly rectify this mistake.

I'm just wasting my time with this Windows ME,
You owe me a Dimension with new Windows XP!
Every few minutes a "Windows will now close,"
To tell you the truth, it's a real pain up my...nose.


Windows ME was the worst program from Bill Gates,
And like a virus its spread through all fifty states.
Like a tire with a bubble, it'll never be right,
I know there were millions like me in the same plight,

With Windows ME, Dell has given us the shaft.
I know where it belongs..and up to the haft!
It's not fair to cheat people with Windows ME,
And cheated they are, when it won't work properly!

I'd like to think well of the CEO at Dell,
But how can I when I've this Computer from Hell?
"Lexplore will now close" four times has popped up on screen,
While writing this last verse, then erases it clean.

Some gibberish appears, words that mean nothing to me,
That's just one more day with Windows complexity.
Oh to leg-chain this computer to Michael Dell,
And his sentence? "Life with that Computer from Hell!"

Well, them's my sentiments, that's my opinion. Any questions, Bubby? And, then my computer locked up and an hour's work was lost, so I had to do this all over again. That's just another day with my Dell. Soon, pictures of my Dell from Hell. I have them to keep it forever in my memory.

DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL

DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL!


(DELL 6108BL01)


by Howard E. Morseburg

Listen, my dear readers, to this story I'll tell,
'bout a Dell-vil computer that made my life Hell.
It's a story that may bring a tear to your eye,
Or wish to hang yourself from a rafter on high.
With its' Windows ME, I've been nailed to the Cross,
It hangs 'round my neck like a dead albatross.
I've suffered from mistakes by Corporate Dell,
When that firm sent me that computer from Hell.

It had a Dell-vilish fickle mind of its' own;
I've had every problem for which MEs been known.
MSIMN WILL NOW CLOSE it says once again,
LEXPLORER WILL NOW CLOSE...it gives me great pain.
Time and again my efforts are blocked...
Because Windows ME has once again locked.
RESTART YOUR COMPUTER; for a minute...all's well,
But again it locks up, that computer from Hell.

Our trusted friend, WINDOWS, is blamed for this sin;
It's like fighting a war when the enemy's within!
As eighty years approaches and life's ending draws nigh,
My last wish is a computer that works...'fore I die,
One that's dependable as one ever can be,
One that's not suffering from Windows sickly ME!
Three years I have suffered, like Saddam's torture cell,
Trying to make sense of that computer from Hell.

Three years of frustration, for three years I have sworn,
Where there wasn't a cuss-word, a new one was born.
They told me I should uninstall Microsoft's M E,
Then re-install the same thing that's troubling me!
If I were Mister Michael, I'd sure die of shame,
That such a computer bore the family name.
I've taken the time to write Michael Dell,
Complaining to him 'bout that computer from Hell.

(I've checked the mailbox daily that's in front of my home.
But there's not been an answer, hence I wrote them this poem.)

Copyright 5/29/04 H.E.Morseburg

(NOTE:This poem refers to Dell Computer: 6108BL01. Any similarity to other products with Windows ME might be much more than coincidental. In fact, it might possibly be endemic, but I have only suspicions and personal reports, but no exhaustive pages of technical data nor polls to substantiate them. I can only testify to my own experience, and that of friends. My Windows ME program bears the following code: GTBKG FYYD7 YGGOG 997VE 9NCDC.
Other users have given me many negative reports, and some very knowledgeable ones have recommended I go back to Windows 98, which they claim is much, much, much more dependable.)

More poems? www.howardsviews.com

ODE TO MICHAEL DELL (con't.)

ODE TO MICHAEL DELL
Michael, m’boy, you’ve screwed up my life,
That Dell computer’s like a naggin’ wife,
It’s always complainin’ that somethin’s wrong,
It’s always whinin’ that same old song.

When you installed that old Windows ME,
What it needed then was Windows XP.
To me M-E is unreliable,
And I think you’re totally liable.

Brandon has advised me to remove ME,
And just install again….what? Windows ME!
One day it can cause a FATAL stroke,
But FATALS a word that’s used by you folk.

Or performed an illegal operation
(That’s truly a scary aberration).
A phrase that’s just a total abortion,
By someone versed in mental contortion.

Oh Michael, oh Michael, oh Michael lad,
My story is long, my story is sad,
This computer came from Corporate Dell,
My computer from the bowels of Hell.
Ever, your most humble and obedient servant,
Howard E. Morseburg
16th of June, In the year of our Lord, 2004